Graphics News

Me: Here is the service sticker design. As we discussed, I will not make any revisions to this...

Clients from Hell - Fri, 01/12/2018 - 8:40am

Me: Here is the service sticker design. As we discussed, I will not make any revisions to this design for free. If you must have a revision, there will be a small fee.

Client: This is unacceptable. You must start over.

Me: I’ve done exactly as you asked. The sticker has your logo and enough space to write down dates and descriptions for five services. If you tell me what you would like changed, I will make the changes for a small fee.

Client: You need to make it look better.

Me: That isn’t very descriptive. What don’t you like about it?

Client: Everything.

Me: I don’t think this is going to work out.

Categories: Graphics

Me: Hello! Attached you will find two concepts for the book design. Please let us know which one you...

Clients from Hell - Thu, 01/11/2018 - 10:20am

Me: Hello! Attached you will find two concepts for the book design. Please let us know which one you prefer and then we will design the rest of the pages.

Client: We prefer Concept B but we aren’t sure we like the color. Can you please make it blue?

I looked at Concept B.

It was blue.

Me:  I’m happy to change the color, but the concept is already designed with blue as the predominant color. Are you looking at the file on your screen or printed out? Sometimes standard office printers can make colors look off.

Client: I’m looking at it on my screen and it is definitely gray and not at all blue.

Me: Hmm… that’s strange. Take a look at this file and let me know what you think.

Clients: That’s great! Thanks. You can go ahead with the rest of the design.

I changed the color by shifting the color code a single digit. To the untrained eye, both files would appear to be the exact same blue. I still have no idea what happened there.

Categories: Graphics

"We have a limited number of free samples, so make sure to note on the flyer that they’re for paying..."

Clients from Hell - Thu, 01/11/2018 - 8:40am
“We have a limited number of free samples, so make sure to note on the flyer that they’re for paying customers only.”
Categories: Graphics

I’m a freelance illustrator, and I’m also a huge fan of this show about a family who owns a burger...

Clients from Hell - Wed, 01/10/2018 - 10:20am

I’m a freelance illustrator, and I’m also a huge fan of this show about a family who owns a burger restaurant. In this social media group I’m in, people are dying to have themselves drawn in the style of the show. I posted my page, and let people know I could do this.

Client: I’d like my family done in the style. Money is no object.

Me: Okay. We can discuss something, and then I can give you a quote.

He tells me what he wants, and I let him know that it would not only take some time, but it would be labor-intensive, so the price is going to reflect accordingly.

Client: I have money. As long as it’s on point, I’ll pay a reasonable price.

Me: Okay. However, as stated in my terms and conditions, I require payment up front.

Client: I’ll pay if it’s on point. Money is no object.

Me: I’m sorry, but I don’t work for free. I could do an example by drawing a character from the show, and you can decide if you wish to buy my services then.

Client: Okay, here’s what I want in the example: [lists everything he’d asked for in his commision].

Me: My example will be a pre-existing character. As stated, I require payment up front.

Client: Money is no object! I’ll pay a reasonable price if it’s on point! 

I didn’t return his messages after that.

Categories: Graphics

"I know what I’m doing, I’ve done it before, I just need you to tell me what I’m doing."

Clients from Hell - Wed, 01/10/2018 - 8:40am
“I know what I’m doing, I’ve done it before, I just need you to tell me what I’m doing.”
Categories: Graphics

Client: Your prices are really expensive. What if you do it for me now for free and when my ideas...

Clients from Hell - Tue, 01/09/2018 - 10:20am

Client: Your prices are really expensive. What if you do it for me now for free and when my ideas get big I can pay you back.

Me: If you’re so confident in your ideas, perhaps you should take out a loan. That’s typically what small businesses do to get started.

Client: And risk going into debt for some nobody? No thank you.

Categories: Graphics

A client demanded a design of a product catalogue. He didn’t have a clear idea of what the contents...

Clients from Hell - Tue, 01/09/2018 - 8:40am

A client demanded a design of a product catalogue. He didn’t have a clear idea of what the contents would be like and just asked for a simple template to be made so he could edit himself later on. 

He didn’t like the first design draft at all and wrote a long list of detailed revisions to be made. Most of them were really bad but I followed them to the letter.

Me: I have to remind you that after doing the revisions that you gave me any changes to the style or content will be counted as another revision, you’re sure you asked me everything you wanted to change?

Client: Yeah, just make sure you do everything I said.

After sending the revised design:

Client: Come on, are you even trying at all? This look like shit! Your first draft is better than this!

Me: I just followed your detailed instructions, I can send you the screenshot as proof.

Client: Yeah but you’re supposed to make it look better, not worse! I won’t take this as a revision until you make it look better than before!

Categories: Graphics

Me: Here are my first designs. What do you think?Client: I don’t know, let’s gather the designs...

Clients from Hell - Mon, 01/08/2018 - 10:20am

Me: Here are my first designs. What do you think?

Client: I don’t know, let’s gather the designs first and then make a decision.

Me: Do you have any feedback for me?

Client: Just gather designs and we will pick which is best.

A few days later:

Client: How come all your designs are crap?

Categories: Graphics

Client: We want you to design an online strategy game for us. You know – one of those “build your...

Clients from Hell - Mon, 01/08/2018 - 8:40am

Client: We want you to design an online strategy game for us. You know – one of those “build your empire online” types.

Me: Okay, well I’ll need some information from you first, but I can tell you up front that it will need at least a team of 4-6 people working for at least six months to deliver a beta that will also require testing and further development.

Client: We don’t want to commit to anything, so no contracts or specifications. You just create a game, and if our general manager likes it, he will buy it for lots of money. 

Categories: Graphics

89 Vintage typefaces for $17 — 95% off!

Clients from Hell - Sun, 01/07/2018 - 10:20am

This week’s deal is huge savings on a collection of fantastic fonts.

> Just take a look. They’re super cool. Dare I call them “badical”?

I do. I DO dare. That’s because these 89 typefaces across 21 font families capture vintage looks from multiple eras, letting you nail looks for all kinds of designs. Want to evoke the roadside attractions of Route 66? Try Andre’s Diner. Aiming for the weathered, nautical look of the shipyard? Use Authentico MMXV or Navy Queen. Use Prizefighter for a casual art deco look, or Midnight Owl for a hand-drawn serif elegance. 

All of these fonts would sell for $332 altogether, but for just a few more days you can get all 89 for $17  — which is a small price to pay for adding this much variety to your toolkit! 

> Check out the deal here. 

Categories: Graphics

I submitted a PDF to a client. The PDF was 7MB in size.Client: Great work, can we reduce the files...

Clients from Hell - Sun, 01/07/2018 - 8:40am

I submitted a PDF to a client. The PDF was 7MB in size.

Client: Great work, can we reduce the files size though?

Me: Sure.

I reduce the PDF’s size and send again.

Client: It’s too small now. The submission guidelines state the file needs to be 5MB.

Me: Are you sure, the guidelines don’t say the file only needs to be less than 5MB?

Client: Look I don’t want to risk uploading a file that’s incorrect. Just make it 5MB exactly! 

I put some invisible garbage into the file until it’s the correct size and send again.

The sad part is this was the first of twenty submissions, all of which have to be exactly 5MB, apparently.

Categories: Graphics

An old client emailed me out of the blue and asked if I could update his website. I was at a loose...

Clients from Hell - Sat, 01/06/2018 - 10:20am

An old client emailed me out of the blue and asked if I could update his website. I was at a loose end for two weeks so said as long as it could be done in that time-frame then sure. 

I proceeded to outline a time-frame of things I needed from him and set up a basic Woocommerce store with all the categorisation in place, gave him a login and talked him through adding products, images and text.

Rookie error: I didn’t ask for anything upfront thinking it would be quick cash once done.

At the end of the first week, I hadn’t received anything from him from the timeline I’d given him. The design was done and in place and I was just waiting for him to finish up. I even offered to help write category descriptions and ploughed through them. The next week still no progress at which point I said for him to get back to me when it was done. Three months later:

Client: The website isn’t finished yet! This is ridiculous! I thought you were a professional!

Me: I’ve been waiting on you for items to complete the work. I should also mention we are well past the window I gave you to for this project, so even if you got everything to me tomorrow I would have a tough time scheduling this work. 

Client: Don’t try to blame me! This is on you!

I logged in and the products still hadn’t been input. so I politely told him where to go and forgot about the cash. 

A year on the site is still half finished but has had someone else publish it with a different front end design. He emailed me asking if I wanted to redeem myself by helping out with his SEO

I’ve yet to reply to this email.

Categories: Graphics

Early November:Client: Can we create a “before and after” gallery for our services?Me: Yeah, of...

Clients from Hell - Sat, 01/06/2018 - 8:40am

Early November:

Client: Can we create a “before and after” gallery for our services?

Me: 
Yeah, of course. I can create whatever you’d like. This work will be outside of your monthly retainer so it will be chargeable but it’ll be discounted! Just let me know specifically how many galleries you need for services/pages, roughly how many images per gallery and I’ll get back to you with a quote.

Client: Okay, I’ll get back to you. Thanks!

Early December:

Client: Hi, just checking in to see how you’re getting on with all the galleries. Thanks.

Me: I’m not. We’ve not spoken since the last time you said you’d get back to me with the details I would need to quote (over a month ago) so the work was never booked?

Client: Okay, thanks for the clarification. I’ll get back to you.

Mid-December:

Client: Hi, we need to arrange a meeting regarding incomplete work so we can resolve this issue ASAP. Thanks.

Me: There’s no outstanding work? Do you mean the gallery idea? It was never quoted for or booked as you didn’t provide any further information.

Client: Oh, okay. I’ll get back to you this afternoon with all of the images and galleries we need. Thanks,

Late December: immediately after sending a reminder of my upcoming unavailability around the festive season: 

Client: Can you send me my login details again as I couldn’t work out how to log in (to WordPress!). Also how easy is it to make a gallery?

Me: For me? Well, it would probably take-

Client: No I mean for me to do it. Can you show me how?

Client FIRED.

Categories: Graphics

I went to a client’s office to install some apps for a telemarketing platform they wanted on their...

Clients from Hell - Fri, 01/05/2018 - 10:20am

I went to a client’s office to install some apps for a telemarketing platform they wanted on their server.

Me: How can I put the apps in your server? Would a flash drive work?

Client: Sure, bring them on a flash drive and plug them on the external contractor’s PC so I can transfer them to the server where you’ll install them

I went there the next day and plugged the flash drive, nothing happened, so I went to Client and asked him about it.

Client: Oh, security blocked all our USB ports and CD readers on our PCs, you may have to download it from the webpage instead

The webpage was blocked, as well as almost everything. 

Client: That’s bad, just send them to me through email.

And that’s how the Client and I learned that any mail that’s not from @client.com will have their attachments purged, no matter the file extension.

There’s security, and then there’s THIS.

Categories: Graphics

I do graphic design and basic websites for clients who do not require a fully custom website.I once...

Clients from Hell - Fri, 01/05/2018 - 8:40am

I do graphic design and basic websites for clients who do not require a fully custom website.

I once had a client who would periodically send me photos to edit. They were mostly fashion photos and she just needed me to remove background for her. They were pretty simple and I would charge her a couple of bucks per photo since each photo took me less than 10 minutes.

Things started going south when after a few weeks - her deadlines started getting tighter and tighter, from a couple of days to a 24 hours turnaround. To be fair we had a standing contract about this particular job and she was always very prompt with payment so I thought I’ll do my part when it was really urgent and politely decline/outsource it when it was too much.

After a couple weeks, she stopped contacting me so I thought she didn’t need my service anymore.

One day I received this email from her

Client: Sorry I haven’t contacted you for a while. My previous business didn’t work out but now I have a new idea. I need a new website by next week. I can pay you $50.

Needless to say, I never bothered replying to that email.

Categories: Graphics

I was doing some corporate headshots and, during the entire shoot, my client was smoking weed.Me:...

Clients from Hell - Thu, 01/04/2018 - 10:20am

I was doing some corporate headshots and, during the entire shoot, my client was smoking weed.

Me: It’s probably not the best idea to be doing that as people will probably be able to tell that you’re high in your photos.

Client: You can just Photoshop me so I don’t look high, right?

Me: Well, to a certain extent. I can get the red out of your eyes and maybe make them look less glassed over, but it’d be much better if you just aren’t high while I’m taking your photo. Your eyes could get droopy and that’s not an easy fix.

The client continued to smoke and, sure enough, she looked progressively higher through the whole shoot. I tried to select the best photos, and post-processed as much as I could to make her look less high. I’d like to think I did a really good job aside from the fact that she was so high towards the end of the shoot that it looked like she was sleeping.

I sent her the photos.

Client: I look pretty blazed in some of these photos. Do you have any where I don’t look high?

Me: ….

Categories: Graphics

This happens far too often for my sanity.Client: I need this website done right away. It’s...

Clients from Hell - Thu, 01/04/2018 - 8:40am

This happens far too often for my sanity.

Client: I need this website done right away. It’s absolutely urgent, so get to it!

The client then proceeds to ignore all my requests for additional details, design instructions, product specs, etc. Weeks later, I inevitably get something like this:

Client: Are you done yet?

Me: I didn’t have all the details and you didn’t send me the things I asked for, so no.

Client: What the hell? I thought I told you this is an urgent project!

Categories: Graphics

I was hired to photograph a wedding, and even did an engagement shoot to be displayed at the...

Clients from Hell - Wed, 01/03/2018 - 10:20am

I was hired to photograph a wedding, and even did an engagement shoot to be displayed at the wedding. I billed them for that shoot and got paid for it. However, later I received a text:

Client: The wedding is getting expensive. Keep the pictures, we just want our money back.

Me: There are no refunds for work that’s already completed, sorry. However, I can void the rest of the contract for you no problem.

At this point, the client called the bank and reported my payment as fraudulent activity.

Worst part? I’d billed them at a 45% steep discount because they’d ordered a full package.

Categories: Graphics

About 5 years ago, I was working on a design for a client who had previously told me that it needed...

Clients from Hell - Wed, 01/03/2018 - 8:40am

About 5 years ago, I was working on a design for a client who had previously told me that it needed to be finished by the end of March. The week before the end of February, I got food poisoning, and called him, telling him that I’d be taking a few days off to recover. This was his response.

Client: Well that won’t do! You need to have this done by next week at the very latest!

Me: Pardon? You said this needed to be done by March.

Client: You must have misheard me, I said this needed to be done by the end of February.

He sent me the details about the deadline in an email, so at this point, I was scrambling to open it up

Me: No, it clearly says here that the deadline is March 27th, and the contract you signed stipulated you would be paying me for two months of work.

Client: Well I never agreed to that! Whatever, you lied in the contract so I’m not paying you.

At this point, I hung up and contacted a lawyer. After I completed the design and received no pay whatsoever, I threatened to sue, and only then did my client pay.

As it turns out, the client had gotten his deadlines mixed up, and only bothered to check a week before the work was due. Why you wouldn’t confirm a deadline when SIGNING A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT is beyond me. 

Categories: Graphics

"Let’s add sound!"

Clients from Hell - Tue, 01/02/2018 - 10:20am
“Let’s add sound!”

- A client advising how to improve a GIF.
Categories: Graphics

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