We’re a social media agency and have taken on a new client with very impatient board members who want instant results.
Me: Don’t buy followers and likes for your social media because if you get caught your account will be penalised or even deleted, and our social media reporting will be skewed.
Client *goes ahead and buys followers and likes across all of their channels*
Client: Oh, you were serious?
This week’s deal is on 50 custom clear stickers for only $9.
We recently featured a sale on vinyl stickers from Stickermule and it sold out in something like half a day. That’s because Stickermule offers a great product: stickers cut to your custom design. These are printed on premium clear material with a UV finish so your stickers won’t fade, and are great for branding products, personal items and more! I’m considering labelling the jars in my cupboard with STYLE. Even better? If you live in the US, Canada or the EU, shipping is completely free.
Normally, 50 clear stickers from Stickermule would cost $65, but if you act fast you can save 86% and get them only $9. This offer is only around for an extremely limited time frame. I suggest getting it out and figuring out your project later.
A client sent me images to put on their website. One of the images was the front of a house and yard.
Client: Can you turn this around, to show the backyard?
Me: No. It doesn’t work that way.
Client: You just don’t want to even try do you!
Me: You can’t turn a picture around to show something that isn’t there.
Client: It is very easy! You just turn the picture around to show the backyard!
Unfortunately, this isn’t the only client who has asked me to do this.
Client: I am a developer, so I understand how this works.Me: Oh ok… So how would you like the footer...
Client: I am a developer, so I understand how this works.
Me: Oh ok… So how would you like the footer to look? What would you like to include?
Client: What’s a footer?
Me: I am going to need your Twitter address in order to set up your Twitter feed on your website.
While working on an e-commerce site design:
Client: All of my models are white, so I hired some colored girls to model my clothes.
Client: I don’t want anyone to think I am racist.
Me: Yeah. I am sure this will fix that for sure.
My client sent me two files and asked me to overlay one on top of the other. One was the border of...
My client sent me two files and asked me to overlay one on top of the other. One was the border of our state and the other was cursive lowercase text. Both were flat bitmaps.
I sent back the combined design.
Client: I don’t like the font choice, and that the text should be capitalized.
“Boss would NEVER do anything wrong. They’re boss!”
Also, is this the right spelling for “schmopyright?”
I sent a home page demo for review.Client: On my phone, I think it’s a problem as you can’t read the...
I sent a home page demo for review.
Client: On my phone, I think it’s a problem as you can’t read the writing and some of the titles are superimposed
Me: Could you send a screenshot so I can see the issue?
Client: No problem, here it is in portrait…
He sends a hyperlink to the website.
Client: And here it is in landscape
Sends exactly the same link.
I’m currently working with a regular client who sends me work to ghostwrite five days a week. Occasionally, he is a bit unusual with his requests.
Client: You didn’t put in the keywords for these two articles
Me: Yes, they’re slightly altered for grammar and spelling but they’re there.
Client: They’re altered because you did not highlight them and now the editor changed them. Change them back and highlight them.
Me: I’m happy to do that but they’ll be grammatically incorrect again.
Client: That’s fine. Thanks.
FYI, I absolutely must include the keywords as they’re sent to me, regardless of the way they’re sent, and the editor will often alter them afterwards. A well-written and edited article was suddenly filled with three separate instances of grammatical errors.
"Website will need to function and look very much like www.apple.com. LOOK AND STUDY apple.com. Our..."
A local university wanted a logo designed for a new student food outlet selling sandwiches, fruit,...
A local university wanted a logo designed for a new student food outlet selling sandwiches, fruit, salads etc on campus. They sent my agency a mood board to give us an idea of what they were going for. And by “mood board” I mean “a text description of a mood board in list form.” I quote:
Client: - Cast of ‘Glee’ - mix of all people
- Paddy McGuiness
- Road Runner - energy
- Yogi Bear - likes sandwiches
- ‘Friends’ the early years - social space
- Like B&Q, but better
- Jamie Oliver - Grab n go, bish bash bosh, healthy, trusted
- Ronseal - does exactly what it says on the tin
- Aldi adverts - compare two products in a fun way
- Morrsions adverts - supermarket trolley pushed by a celebrity.
Suffice to say, we didn’t submit a design.
Yesterday I was asked to do some promo graphics for a local guitar store. He wanted 6 different guitar-shaped stickers, 3 separate t-shirt designs (all of which involved varying levels of copyright infringement), an advertisement for a local magazine, and several web graphics for his online site.
I told him I was open to some trade since I’m a player, too.
Client: So be nice to me on price, I’m just a little guy! I was thinking we could swap for a string change and guitar setup.
That’s the equivalent of about $35. Also, I can do that myself.
I was working a flyer design for a client which was letter sized.Client: The flyer looks nice, but...
I was working a flyer design for a client which was letter sized.
Client: The flyer looks nice, but it’s too small.
Me: I checked the size. It’s 8.5x11, but I’ll send it again.
Client: It’s still small.
I go over to her screen to see she was viewing it zoomed out to 25%. I pressed command +.
Client: Oh that’s perfect!
Back when I was first getting started (and learning valuable lessons from new each client) I had a...
Back when I was first getting started (and learning valuable lessons from new each client) I had a client who taught me the biggest lesson yet - having a rock solid contract.
Client: OK, I like what you’ve done but I’d like to see it this way as well.
Me: OK. Got that done, what do you think?
Client: That’s good, but can you change it to look like this now?
Me: Ok, done. Thoughts?
Client: Hm. Maybe we should try this way instead.
Repeat this process MANY more times…
Me: We’re on the like the 15th version of this site - we really need to be finding a layout and sticking with that
Client: Your contract doesn’t say anything about how many revisions I can have. You should have put that in there. I’m going to teach you a lesson - I own you at this point.
The thing was, she was right. I didn’t have a max number of revisions!
Me: Yes, I see what you mean. Here is your deposit. Have a nice life.
I immediately revised my contract to have a max number of revisions. Returning her deposit and telling her to take a hike was far better than working in indentured servitude for the next however many days/weeks/months/years.
Who hires someone for the sole purpose of teaching them a lesson?
This week’s deal is (and I’m going to use the technical term here) GINORMOUS.
I’ve been scanning through this bundle for the last ten minutes, and there is A LOT here. A variety of fonts, a collection of really nice watercolor graphic elements (including repeating patterns!), some really gorgeous stock photos, textured backgrounds and more. I’m reeling with the possibilities, and I think you will too. This bundle could be the cornerstone of your designs for the next year or more, and it’s only $14.
Altogether, everything in this bundle would retail for $1830 at full price, but for a few more days you can get EVERYTHING HERE for only $14 (99% off!). Even if you only use 2-3 of these items it’s already worth it, and I can imagine using dozens, if not hundreds.
"I understand your request for a contract, however this is not a contractual gig. You’ll just have to..."
Picking colors from the color picker in Photoshop with a client looking over my shoulder: Client: I...
Picking colors from the color picker in Photoshop with a client looking over my shoulder:
Client: I want a sapphire blue, I don’t know if your software has that blue, just type in sapphire and let’s see…
Later, when we did find a color the client liked.
Client: I was thinking I want to name it Cat’s Eye, but you know what we could do? We could spell it with a K to make it more original! You know? Wouldn’t that be cool?
I’m pretty sure the client thinks we invented the color.
Client: (via email) Wondering if this link is available and active.I click the link. It takes me to...
Client: (via email) Wondering if this link is available and active.
I click the link. It takes me to the page, which is working and functional.
Me: Yes, this link is both available and active.
Client: Great, thanks for checking that.
Me internally: Did you seriously just SEND ME AN EMAIL to ask me to click a link for you?