All of last year, I was the editor for a content marketing blog, managing a team of freelance writers. My work was done completely remotely, so when I wanted to ask for a raise at the beginning of this year, I emailed the company owner. I outlined the good work I’d done in the past year and reminded her that she’d mentioned the possibility of higher pay for efficient work when she hired me.
Two days later, instead of a personal response to my email, she sent a stock email to me and the entire writing team about how she was letting us all go due to a lack of funds, effective immediately.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll get my last invoice to you later today and get all existing content queued up for you.
Client: We just don’t have the money to keep it running. I should have told you last month but I just couldn’t.
Ever since she’s been keeping the blog going on her own and emailing me weekly with questions because she didn’t learn how to use the system before firing me.
This week’s deal is on an enormous bundle of really, really great stuff.
3500+ Textures, brushes, icons, watercolors and more graphic elements are all in included in this bundle. They’re all great. I’m seriously in love with the “old house” seamless pattern, and that accounts for 1.4% of what you get here. Just take a look; you’re going to find something that justifies the cost — probably MANY things.
All of the stuff in this bundle would cost $13580 if their separate prices were totalled - but for the next few days, you can get it all for only $14. No joke, that’s 99.9% off. I’m no mathematician, but that’s as close to FREE as you’re going to get. 99.9% OFF!
I’m a freelance illustrator and got a job making worksheets for children. They required a good amount of drawings, especially of kids.
I thought it would be funny to draw myself as a kid in one of the lessons:
Client: This one student looks like a cancer patient. I’m all for diversity, but not comfortable with this one.
We have a Youtube channel! Might as well use it.
Throw us a like and a share if you feel like it! We’d sure appreciate it.
Client: Please can you make it more Christmas-y? We are not keen on the snowflakes.
Me: Snowflakes aren’t Christmas-y?
I was contracting for an overseas client for a few months and then left at the end of September after he left my town, went to a different time zone, and demanded that I sleep on his schedule. He would call me at 4 AM in the morning and also have me work until 2AM. The contract stated that the payment was to be paid within a week and that there is a $25 late fee per day.
Me: (October) Here is your invoice.
Me: (November) Here is your late payment reminder.
Client: Hey I’m so sorry I haven’t paid you yet. I’m closing a new round of investment by December so I’ll pay you then. Again, I’m so sorry about this.
Me: (December) Hey how are you doing? How is your company doing and have you been able to raise the funds?
Client: Hey I’m so sorry I haven’t paid you yet. I’ll pay you by January with a late fee of $25 for your troubles.
Great. So after months of not being paid, he’s going to pay the equivalent of a free lunch. At this point I decided to do what I should have done ages ago:
Client: I can’t believe you sent an invoice with a late fee! Way to burn bridges!
The irony is that his entire staff has turned over more than 4 times because no one could work with him.
Me: It is part of the agreement we signed and I’ve given you plenty of time to pay the invoice without a late fee. I’d prefer not to take this any further than it has to.
Client: I invite you to take me to court.
So I’m taking him to court where now he most likely will have to file for bankruptcy. The worst part? It was NOT a large invoice.
- Sent from the client’s iPhone
"When I stand up above my screen and look straight down at the logo, the colors look really good!..."
Me: I can send you the file in a mail or via Dropbox.
Client: My internet is slow. It’s better to send a thumb drive in the mail.
Me: Uh… but then it will take at least 5 days to arrive.
Client: That’s fine.
I did, and he received it a week later.
Client: I want some changes. Should I mail this back to your return address so you can make them?
A potential client once contacted me to do an online monitoring system. He owns a car wash business...
A potential client once contacted me to do an online monitoring system. He owns a car wash business with two branches and wanted to monitor every transaction online.
He bargained for a
discounted price since I personally knew him.
Me: Ok. You’re looking at $X [70% off my normal price] and will take me 1 month to deliver.
Client: I didn’t think it would cost that much! Can I pay you with unlimited car washes?
I never contacted him again.
I work as Art Director for a small print and marketing outfit. One regular client decided to leave...
I work as Art Director for a small print and marketing outfit. One regular client decided to leave us and follow our salesperson to her new job when she quit – but rather than admit he just wanted to stay with his longtime rep, he told the owner the quality of our design had gone downhill. OK, whatever.
Six months later, after the rep had quit her new job and left the area, he came back to our business wanting his annual Christmas card mailing designed.
Client: I’d like you to take a photo of my business and make it look like it’s covered in snow. Come up with a couple dozen layouts for me to choose from.
A couple dozen? And he expected that at no extra cost.
The client is a lawyer - so I still want to go by with a case for him and demand a couple of dozen legal arguments written out in detail for me to choose from, then I can decide if I’ll pay for one of them
The gig economy is absolutely the future, and while it represents enormous possibilities, there are also dangers. Olga chats with Kyle about what you need to do to be competitive in the gig economy, how to stand out and find a niche, and how to take care of yourself while doing it.
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I was designing a bunch of large-scale prints for a booth a week before the conference they would be...
I was designing a bunch of large-scale prints for a booth a week before the conference they would be presented.
Client: We involved someone new who suggested we make a few more versions…
We wound up doing six different versions and had to wait for approval, taking a project that was “well in hand” and making it “the absolute worst.”
I work for a resume writing company, We are based online and communicate with clients via email. I...
I work for a resume writing company, We are based online and communicate with clients via email.
I took on a client that consistently made minor edits to everything that I tried to present to him, which isn’t all the uncommon. I made a complete second draft that took into account everything he wanted and sent it to him before taking the weekend off (I let him know I would be doing this).
Sunday evening I checked my email to discover he’d sent me twelve emails over the last day and a half. It was like reading a storybook.
Client: (1st email) Could we change these things?
Client: (4th email) I thought of a few more changes. When will you be done with these.
Client: (10th email) If you’re not going to respond, I’m just going to buy Word and do it myself!!!
Client: (11th email) I did it! I’m doing it myself!
Client: (12th email) …This is hard. Maybe I’ll let you do it.
Dude, that’s why you hired us in the first place.
I run a video production company.Client: We want to shoot the video on the university campus.Me: A...
I run a video production company.
Client: We want to shoot the video on the university campus.
Me: A base budget should be about $XXXX
Client: We’ll take care of some of what you’re suggesting you’ll do. If we do that, can you go down to half that?
Me: I can do that, but find out what it costs to shoot on the campus, or if you need special permission or anything.
Client: Absolutely. We’ll take care of it.
A week later.
Me: Any word on the university?
Client: We’re still emailing back and forth.
I check the website – it clearly states to call for filming purposes. I call on my own. In 2 minutes I find out there is no special permission, and it costs $3000/day. I keep this to myself, they have not hired me for producers services, just shooting as they want to keep their budget down. We have a meeting several days later.
Me: Any word on the university?
Client: We’re still finding the right wording for the email.
Me: You haven’t sent it yet?
Client: No. We want to provide the best image of our fledgling company.
Me: I can’t write the contract until we’ve found locations, or develop a script until the contract is done. I can’t storyboard until the script is done. Can’t shot list until storyboard is done. Scheduling is based on the shot list. You see where I’m going with this?
Client: (turns to partner) What about that guy’s house we know?
Client: Come scout it out with us.
Me: How about you go and then send me photos.
The next day they send the photos. It’s a very typical and shitty suburban backyard of a house. The deck is not even painted the same colors.
Client: There is a spacious lawn/backyard connected to an indoor space. One of the winning features of the location is the raised patio vibe which could give us the “stage” feel that we were looking for.
Me: When we discussed shooting on a stage, we were talking about an actual theatre.
Client: The patio will work for that.
There are so many red flags, I’ve lost count.
This week’s deal is on 100 beautiful, hand-drawn seamless patterns.
Seamless patterns make backdrops more interesting, and in this bundle, you’ll get 100 expressive, fun textures that conjure a fun, home-made look. I’m super in love with them, honestly. Each has a character of its own, ranging from quirky and cute to organic and crystalline, and will give your designs new life.
Normally, to buy all these textures you would pay $30 (which is already SUPER REASONABLE) but for the next week and change, you can buy them for $10 (which is a bargain). I already bought mine and am scheming with what to do with them.
I’m submitting this story with the errors and idiosyncrasies left intact. Imagine receiving this email with no prior contact.
Client: Hi, Ma'am i was thinking if you could guide me how to create an e-learning web-app, you can send details at [client email].
At least he’s polite, even if he has no clue what he’s doing or what he wants.
I replied with my usual prospect qualifying questions.
Client: The project is a part of my learning, I am doing it as my Final year project of computer science. I would like you to recommend me something.
Me: I’m sorry, I can’t do free mentoring for everyone who asks. I actually explain why in this blog post I hae attached. If you’re interested in this topic, I’ve also included a link to a case study written by a colleague who created an e-learning app and detailed what they learned through that process.
Client: Thankyou!! I am humbled.
Umm, other than e-learning if you could give resources, I would be delighted!
Note that I work in e-learning, not web apps, so he’s asking for resources outside my expertise. I didn’t reply to this one, but that didn’t stop him from emailing again the next day.
Ummmm, Ma’am can you suggest some good names for my e-learning projects! I shall be grateful to you.
How could I name something when he doesn’t even know what kind of app he’s creating?
Me: Can you click the shortcut on your desktop for [program] please?
Client: I don’t have that shortcut on my desktop.
A 10-minute discussion of computer settings later:
Client: I still don’t have that shortcut. I do have an icon for it though.