Clients from Hell
This week’s deal is on high-quality, custom die cut stickers from Stickermule!
Stickers rule. That’s just a FACT. Especially when they’re custom cut to your design and printed on high-quality, durable, weather-proof vinyl. Whether you have a mascot character and want to show folks just what’s yours in style, or you’re delivering a custom order of logo stickers for a client, this is an insane deal for great quality. I’m ordering 50 stickers of just my smiling face, and when they show up I’m going to slap those bad boys on everything I have even a half claim to. Just to let people know who’s boss.
That’s $9 for 50 stickers, or 87% off the normal price of $69. And by the way — shipping is FREE.
"Use a hyphen between the times and dates instead of an en dash. Include a space on each side. Like..."
- A wrong person.
Client: As a part of our new “Healthy Choices” initiative, we would like to include an image of a...
Client: As a part of our new “Healthy Choices” initiative, we would like to include an image of a person holding an apple.
Me: No problem, I’ll start putting together some stock images for you to choose from.
Client: No need, we already have a great image you can use!
The client then sent me a grainy image of a conference room taken from their phone.
In the foreground, taking up about half of the image were tables cluttered with numerous “Hi, my name is…” cardboard folds, water bottles, coffee cups, half-eaten pastries, and papers.
Along the top of the image was a skewed section of ceiling and fluorescent lights.
And about twenty feet behind the tables were a group of about 15 people clustered in front of a whiteboard. They were barely more than silhouettes, and in the very back you could just make out a raised arm holding something.
Apparently, they were holding an apple.
A few years ago I worked as a freelance web designer before focusing on web development. My second...
A few years ago I worked as a freelance web designer before focusing on web development. My second client was a local plumber with 3 employees. He asked me to create his new website.
Client: Hey, can you help me with my new website?
Me: Of course, what do you want?
Client: My website should exactly look like my business card. With a fixed height and about 4 static pages. Ah, and I won’t pay more than 300 bucks.
The business card was designed in a bright green, a royal blue and white font color and several graphics matching his business.
He sent me his card as a PDF. That’s all he had…
Long story short: I did it, cried, and didn’t tell ANYONE that I made his website.
I was making videos promoting cruises in Canada. We had sound effects of waves crashing and gulls crying in the background.
Client: Can we change the sound? The gulls sound British.
I didn’t realize that gulls had accents.
I worked overnight to get something urgent done for a client that they needed “FIRST THING IN THE...
I worked overnight to get something urgent done for a client that they needed “FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.”
They didn’t acknowledge receiving it until nearly noon:
Client: Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. It’s been a crazy morning.
A client gives spiritual advice, while John Hodgman and Justin Long remain locked in an eternal battle for our very souls.
A client wanted a way for potential customers to contact them directly with specific info, rather...
A client wanted a way for potential customers to contact them directly with specific info, rather than going through the normal (generic) sales inquiry system.
Me: I created an online contact form for your potential customers to fill out. When they click “Learn More” on the product page, they’ll be taken to the form. It has specific questions about their needs and time frames so you can tailor your sales pitch accordingly. You’ll just need to login to this website to get the info.
Client: Nah, I don’t want to do all that.
Me: Do all what? Log in to a site?
Client: Yeah. Just have the potential buyers fill out the generic sales form, then you contact the Sales team to alert them, and have the Sales team filter out all the product-specific ones that should be directed to us, then they can forward those emails to us and we’ll sift through them.
Me: …So rather than have qualified clients delivered to you automatically, you want to pay the sales team to do all that sorting manually?
Client: Yeah, this will be simpler.
This is a part of an UpWork project I stumbled upon:
PLEASE READ BEFORE APPLYING
We do not like whiners. Review the codes and deal with it.
Client: My webpage isn’t loading.
Me: Is it just YOUR webpage that isn’t loading, or ALL pages on your browser?
My client wanted me to prepare a content plan based on four presentations about their new campaign...
My client wanted me to prepare a content plan based on four presentations about their new campaign strategy.
They sent me the presentations – they were very confusing. Parts contradicted each other, and at no point did they explain the purpose, nor the message, of the campaign.
Me: Hey, I’m going over these presentations and they’re not very clear. Can I get some more details from you directly?
Client: Everything you need to know is in those presentations.
Working with what I had, I created several proposals. Each one was rejected WITHOUT COMMENT. At this point, I gave up.
Me: Look, I’m sorry but I’m really in the weeds here. Can you give me some specific examples of the message you want to send? I’m confused about the whole campaign.
Their response was pure gold:
Client: Well, we’re pretty confused here too. We’re not sure what our campaign should say either.
I made some flyers for a client as a rush-job. Apparently, his previous designer was not keen to work with him anymore. Gee, I wonder why.
Me: Do you want me to put together a new design for your flyers?
Client: No, just copy the style from previous years.
Me: Are you sure? These are pretty basic. I could whip up something really attractive quickly.
Client: I insist.
The previous flyers looked like they’d been done in Word… but a job’s a job. I did what he asked with a quick turnaround.
Client: Thanks for the flyers, they look great. I’ve sent them to the printer
Me: Glad you like them. They were low-res proofs though, I’ll send you through the print-ready version for your printer.
Client: No don’t do that, the version you sent will be fine.
Me: Uh… the printer definitely needs a print-ready copy. I can send it, it’s no trouble.
Client: I’ve been working with these printers for years, they’ll let me know if it’s not fine.
Me: I know I saved it low-res. I can assure you now it’s not good enough to print. It won’t take me long to send it to you, how about I send it just in case? I know this is a rush job and you need it printed tomorrow, but I won’t be available to do it tomorrow.
Client: (getting annoyed) I’ve been working with these printers for years, I know if it looks fine on my screen it will be fine to print. I have other work for you to do so don’t worry about this and clear your schedule.
He didn’t give me any other work that day – I didn’t need to “clear my schedule” at all.
I don’t think I’ve ever worked for anyone who wanted me to do my job less.
Client: I want to return this product. I ordered a deodorant with aluminium salt. Instead, you sent...
Client: I want to return this product. I ordered a deodorant with aluminium salt. Instead, you sent me a deodorant with aluminium salt.
Me: Of course you have the right to return our products without stating reasons. However, to avoid any possible misunderstandings could you please specify the problem with this order?
Client: I don’t get what was so hard to understand about my complaint?
- My client, every day, for the past 2 weeks.
Client: So 100 for what? For every year?
Me: Yeah, you get hosting and domain for $100 a year.
Client: Hosting Google and everything?
Me: …You get hosting and domain management for $100 a year. Not search engine optimization. .We do however submit your site to Google.
Client: Hosting Google and everything?
Me: What do you mean by “hosting Google and everything”?
Client: Don’t know.
This week’s deal is an enormous package of fonts, graphics and logos.
There’s really so much in this bundle that I love. 123 fonts that are completely varied and useful, some really handsome logo templates, and some great graphics. The fonts are great: “Take Easy” is a great dry brush font that looks fun and casual, “Retrology” is amazing, and “Rose Colored” has an easy elegance. Seriously, take a look and you’ll see something you like.
For a limited time, you can get everything in this bundle for $15, or 99% off the full price of $1850. Let that sink in for a second; that’s a whole lot of useful stuff for $15.
Client who runs a marketing company. I designed the original cards for him only a year ago.
(He loved them at the time).
About a year after I finished high school a friend of mine contacted me asking to create some posters, business cards and brochures for her debut solo comedy show. She’d been in the circuit all throughout school and she was always OK for money so I was kind of hoping that after I’d finished the work for her she’d pay me something as thanks. I was young and inexperienced so I figured anyway that if she didn’t the exposure would help me out.
Fast forward to her show a few months later. I had completed the work with a simple ‘thank you’ in response which kind of ticked me off but whatever, I didn’t ask for money so I couldn’t really complain.
I buy my own ticket to her show so I can see my work, and sure enough it’s pasted all over the city, it’s on a billboard with a bunch of other young comedians show posters. It is everywhere. She sees me at her show but doesn’t talk to me and declines my text asking if she’d like to go have dinner later.
The poster goes on to win the comedy festival award for best show poster design. I get tagged in the post on Facebook and that is it.
About a year later I receive some Facebook messages.
Client: Hey! I’m producing some shows later this year for [Redacted, but some of the biggest comedians in the country] and I’m sorting out the posters. Since you did mine I’d like you to work on these.
Me: Okay I’m up for that, but I can’t afford to work for free as I have moved out of home now and pay my own rent.
Client: OK, how much would you charge for production pamphlets and the posters for 3 separate shows?
Me: For the number of hours I would be putting into it I would charge you [$x] per poster and [$x] [still a huge discount because I’m still clinging onto our close to seven-year friendship] for the brochures.
Client: Sounds great! I’ll get in contact with you when we’re closer to the show dates.
I have not heard from her since in either a professional or personal manner and the aforementioned shows have already completed their respective tours. Guess paying someone she’s known since she was 13 a little bit of money for a job worth 5 times the quote was too much for her.
Don’t work for your friends. Ever.
I take promotional photos in Britain. I was asked to take photos of a party at a bar.My client was...
I take promotional photos in Britain. I was asked to take photos of a party at a bar.
My client was unhappy with them.
I found out via these texts:
Client: What’s appenin lad, only just seen ye messied call been meaning to message ye but av been up the wall. The lads aren’t happy aba them photos at all yano. We only hired a photographer in to get picture of birds, & the rest on there aren’t great at all only 42 as well
Me: I’m sorry, what’s the problem with them? Are there not enough? Is the quality not high enough? Is there something I can do with the editing?
Client: Asked yo to focus on birds I know you wer sayin us was askin but if you approach them properly they will comply. TBH looks like a shite party pictures of scatty kids n that it was wall to wall with birdsss which is what we got you in for, we can’t even use them photos
I am working in an ad agency and we occasionally have to produce artwork for print for events. Usually, the major artwork and POSM designs are done from another company and we just apply the artwork to our designs.
For this client, we’ve gone through a tedious back-and-forth process and have finally come to the final printing stage. After seeing the print sample, this is our client’s feedback.
Client: I like the sample with -10 (black) but can you add more green to the leaf on our logo.
Me: You know you’re not supposed to change the company's logo right?
Client: I know. So don’t change the logo but add more green to it.